To-Do Thursdays:
Normally, I would be thinking about all the things to go see and do this weekend…However, I’m knee deep in thank you cards from a certain little boy and girl’s birthday party (photos forthcoming.) We are so grateful to have such amazing friends and family to celebrate the occasion and not to mention make Santa look bad with all the goodies they got. #soblessed
I’ve been working all week to get them completed within an acceptable timeframe – something both my mother and my grandmother drilled into me since birthday (really.) While I’m not always perfect (far from it), I do my best to remember to do them, make them personal and mail them. I was taught it was the right thing to do and just good manners. And of course it gives me a chance to use my pretty stationery from Minted. #nerdalert
However, I’ve noticed with all our technology and social media at our fingertips, the art of thank yous and RSVPs has definitely changed over the years. Dramatically. I remember I used to get an invite in the mail and you were either required to write a letter back you would be attending or picking up the phone. But that is the thing of the past. Now we get on Facebook, use Evite or even my personal favorite, Paperless Post, and we use the invitaition as a placeholder in our calendar until the day of and then make a decision last-minute if you are going to go or not.
This folks, is not an RSVP.
I know I’ve done it and from recent events I’ve attended or hosted, I know that’s what many of us are doing. It’s nothing new, but technology has made us lazy and rude. On the other hand, the hundreds of event invitations on Facebook have made it very easy to fill up our inboxes and feel overwhelmed by things to do and places to be. We just can’t respond to everything. And it’s just too enticing with the list of things to do to throw up a blanket “Thank you” message and feel like you’ve done your part. But have you?
So while I’m by no mean Miss Manners or the gal to lead by example, I would love to hear your thoughts on Thank you notes and RSVPs. What’s your experience with them nowadays? Do you think we should use them or are they a thing of the past? Should we create a campaign to reinstate them? Start a points system for those that do it correctly and not let others come to your party in the future (joke)? Do you have a service you use that you love for RSVPs? Are electronic thank yous enough?
Comments, please!
I’m sad that RSVPs and Thank Yous have become a thing of the past. It’s VERY difficult on the party planner for those that don’t RSVP and VERY RUDE on the party planner to not send out a Thank You for a gift you received. I don’t care if you are my best friend and that I know a thank you is implied, you STILL send a thank you note.
And yes, I remember those that don’t send notes. I may not keep score but it’s just a little reminder to me that if my gift isn’t appreciated then I don’t give again!!!
I def dont mind an electronic thank you- its the thought that counts. But I def LOVE getting a real thank you in the mail- its fun to get mail thats not a bill!The RSVP thing though – kills me. If someone is trying to plan an event, you can at least respond. I dont mind if someone says they aren’t sure yet or something – but I really resent being a week out and having to call everyone to see how much food or treat bags I need!Ahhh- that just makes me cray cray 😉
I was so angry when planning my wedding back in 07 that people didn’t RSVP. I wound up with about 20 more people there than I had planned on. Maybe not a big deal, but annoying anyways. Fast forward 7 years and 3 kids – I’m don’t know until the last minute if I am going. So I’m pretty awful about RSVPing until the last second. And thank you cards… well, I used to go nuts if I didn’t get them out or get one in the mail. Now I have a better understanding. People didn’t have as much going on when the RSVP by phone or mail was in style. I still think a thank you in some form – even an email – is appropriate, but I don’t begrudge someone if they couldn’t get it done.
I feel it best to RSVP in the manner in which the host has indicated. The host has obviously chosen to distribute invitations in a certain way (be it a paper invite, facebook or e-vite) for convenience or ease of use, and the RSVP should be reciprocated accordingly. That said, the RSVP should not be taken lightly. It’s important to the host to know how many attendees to expect, and as a guest, you should respond.
As for thank you notes: they should be handwritten on appropriate stationery. An electronic thank you is not enough. Really, people, a thank you note is symbolic of your gratitude. Don’t get lazy on that count!
I agree with Lindsey! Well said!