In a Winc: Why Friends Are Still Important

Think that life is too full to fit in a little time with your friends? It is. Friends are still important even when you’re a big kid.

Thank you to Winc for reminding me that every day is worth toasting to and sponsoring this post.

Parents (especially mamas) make a lot of sacrifices when you have kids. (Pause for the eye roll and “you can say that again response.”)

One of the biggest ones I never realized I’d totally throw to the bottom of my “must do” list was my friends.

I value my friends dearly and am incredibly lucky that many of my bestest friends are actually ones from my childhood – like since I was 2 years old. These are the ones that knew me when Cabbage Patch Kids were the closest thing to kids I had and would stay on my neon phone for hours to talk about absolutely nothing. They also would be the ones that when a boyfriend broke my heart or I wanted to talk about how my parents made me mad, they were there to listen to it all.

Then as I’ve been able to work at a few places along the way, I’ve made more than co-workers but friends that understood those crazy work stories and could giggle when we reminisced about conference craziness and how boss’s obsession with chicken poppers. Then of course there were the mama friends I’ve made that didn’t know the pre-mama me, but knew exactly when I needed help and brought over Tylenol (and Starbucks) when I needed it most.

I still cherish those memories and their friendship but things like a husband, 2 kids, work and all that other crap got in the way of me being a good friend.

Mostly because I let it.

Somewhere along the way I let those valuable bonds be replaced by babies, bosses, and other bullsh@t.

Thankfully in my old age I’ve started to notice that I’ve taken it (and them) for granted. Unfortunately I’ve also noticed, that I’m not alone.

A lot of ladies I’ve talked to lately somewhere went wrong in their pursuit of being perfect (but so far from it.)

We forgot that friendships are not something you do when it’s convenient, or just when it’s a birthday or a baby shower, or when you get divorced.

It is a human need to socialize and be with people to remind you of your best (and worst.)

As an adult WE are in charge of what we do with our time. And minute by minute, we need those friends to be a better us.

While we can’t backtrack, we can start making those friend moments a priority even when you don’t think you have the time.

1. So the next time you’re in the car, pick up the phone and call a friend. Forget Facebook and Instagram – call her.

2. Sitting in a meeting and can’t make a call? Text her and remind your friend that you think she’s awesome (she’ll appreciate it, always.)

3. Need to recharge your friendship? Ask her to coffee even if that’s just a trip to Starbucks.

4. Write her a letter (yes, people still have addresses and enjoy a handwritten note.)

5. Ask her (or even ask the whole crew over) to come over for a glass (or a bottle) of wine. If she can’t join you, send her a bottle then ask her for a Facetime and drink wine together. (Even if you don’t know what she’s drink, Winc can handle it.)

Need more ideas? No, you don’t. Friends don’t value you for what you do (isn’t that why they’re your friends), they value you because you love them and because they love you.

Need more friends? Yes, you do. There’s no such thing as too many REAL friends. So thank your old ones and if you need to make new ones, do it. Say hi, quit being quiet in the line, or smile at someone.

Need more time? No, you don’t. You probably found time to stop for Starbucks this morning or sign up for one of those Clean Up Your House Challenges you saw on Facebook. If you have time to clean out your makeup drawer, you already have time for her.

And no they won’t always be there. Unfortunately, the clock is ticking and so is each valuable relationship. They can be over in a winc.